The Real Look of Wufei Chang
by Alyson Metallium
Summary: Ever wonder why Wufei scrapes his hair back in that painful ponytail? Here's my twisted version.


**Notes**: Ok, I was talking with a friend of mine *waves at Monnie* about Wufei's hair and why he's always got it scrapped back in such a way that I swear if you tugged on his pony tail the entire mass will rip out of his head in a very spectacular way. She said that she had seen pictures of Wu-chan drawn with his hair down, and that it usually looked like it was very fine and soft. I got to thinking about another reason for Wufei to want to scrap his hair back and have a pony tail that doesn't move despite the fighting and the wind, yadda yadda. This is my first attempt at a GW fanfiction, I probably won't try to post it, but the idea would NOT leave my mind. ^_^   
Take care all!   
Alyson Metallium 

P.S. Looks like I decided to post this fic after all. ^^;; Oh, and there's some OOCness on Trowa's part, as well, but it was just so FUNNY having him watch these two shows. ^_~ 

~The Real Look of Wufei Chang~ 

Wufei carefully stepped out of the shower, watching where he placed his feet because one never knew what Duo had dropped or left on the floor for the unwary to step on. Or in, as he promptly smooshed his foot into a pile of shaving cream that had been concealed under the lip of the cabinets. Wufei grumbled loudly about what he would like to do with a certain pig tailed pilot, and none of it was pleasant by any means. The fastest death involved being stepped on by Nataku, but he doubted that Duo would hold still long enough for him to even climb into his Gundam, but he did enjoy indulging in a little fantasy where he chased Duo around and tried to stomp on him like a rat. 

Wufei chuckled under his breath as he began to wipe the excess water off of his well toned body, ignoring his hair for the moment as the unruly mass, freed from it's customary pulled back style, took on a life of it's own and reverted to it's natural state. Wufei paid careful attention to every part of his body, including in between his toes. It didn't do to ignore that aspect of your anatomy, because if the area between the toes wasn't dried off properly, the skin could crack and bleed, causing a state of annoying pain that might possibly interfere with his fighting skill. Once he was finished with his task, Wufei calmly looped the towel around his waist, then picked up another, dryer towel that he began to use on his hair with a vengence. He always had to get it very dry before he pulled it back in that skin tight pony tail. After all, his gels, mousse, and hair spray, for some odd reason, didn't seem to work as well on wet hair as it did on dry hair. 

He would pause in his drying to test the ends of his hair to see just how dry he had gotten it, before going back to vigerously towling his hair once again. One would think that he hated his hair by the way he was attacking it. Wufei tested his hair again, then deemed it dry enough to begin the regimem of gels, sprays, and super glue. 

He had just picked up the first bottle of mousse, when the bathroom door was suddenly flung open and Duo strode in. "Hey, Wufei, have you seen a pair of socks lying around in . . . here .. . . ," the self proclaimed God of Death came to a screeching halt and stared, bug eyed, at the man who turned to glare at him from underneath a mass of Shirley Temple type black curls. 

"Wu-Wufei?" Duo asked, stunned and trying very hard not to laugh. He failed utterly, and Wufei's expression darkened as Duo crowed, "Now I know why you scrape your hair back like you're trying to make yourself go bald! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! 

"MAXWELL!" Wufei screeched, grabbed his katana (which he always carries with him, even to the shower) unsheathed it and took off after the fleeing Duo, his curls bouncing to the beat of his footsteps. 

Heero was sitting at the kitchen table, typing away at his computer (does the boy do anything else other than type on his computer, threaten to kill people, work on his Gundam, threaten to kill people, stalk Relena Peacecraft, is stalked by Relena Peacecraft, and threaten to kill people?) while Quatre puttered around in the kitchen and Trowa was watching something on T.V. that sounded suspiciously like The Vision of Escaflowne. (WOOHOO!) They all looked up as a hystarically laughing Duo came running into the common room, followed closely by an extemely pissed and armed Wufei . . . . who was sporting a head full of cork screw curls. 

"Wufei?" Quatre asked, staring at the curls as they flashed by in their pursuit of Duo's death. Amazingly enough, the towel that was around Wufei's hips had not slipped an inch (much to the disappointment of all the hentai people I know.) 

"Ooo, Wufei, I love your hair!" Quatre called out as Wufei flashed past, earning him a funny look from the other G-boys.   
"Well, I like curly hair," he muttered under his breath. 

Heero lifted an eyebrow at that, then turned his attention back to his computer, trying to drown out the sounds of Duo's laughter and Wufei's enraged screams. It was getting very hard to do, though, because Duo kept tossing insults back at Wufei regarding his "no-move-pony-tail," and Wufei's death threats were getting louder and more elaborate by the second. Just when he was getting ready to stand up and aim his pistol while tossing out his trademark comment (we all know what that is), a loud crack followed by two thuds rang through the room. Heero looked up to find both Wufei and Duo out cold on the floor . . . . and Trowa carefully replacing a baseball bat underneath the seat cushions. Quatre uttered a small cry of alarm and scurried over to check the now unconcious pair, while Heero looked at Trowa and raised the eyebrow again. 

"I couldn't hear over the noise," the stoic pilot said quietly, and returned his attention to watching a kid about the same age as themselves pilot a huge mecha that was sporting a cape and a rather large sword. (The author takes time out to drool over Van Fanel.) 

"Heero, what should we do?" Quatre asked, standing up from where he had been checking over the downed pilots. 

"Leave them," Heero said shortly, and went back to his computer. Quatre opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by a soft knock at the front door. He gave the unconcious pilot rugs an uneasy glance, and went over to open the door. 

"Hello, Relena, Hilde, Sally, it's so nice to see you," he said nervously, trying very hard to block their view of inside the living room. 

"Hiya Quatre!" Hilde said happily, "Is Duo in? I want to ask him about a motorcycle that came into the junk yard today." 

"Um . . . . ," Quatre said oh so eloquently. 

"What's wrong, Quatre?" Relena asked, giving him a curious look. 

"Ah hehehe, nothing!" Quatre protested. 

Sally, not really wanting to be to pushy, moves closer to Quatre and says, "Quatre, I need to get Wufei's half of the report we have to submit tomorrow, can I please get by?" 

"Um," Quatre said again, and was gently pushed out of the way by the determined Sally, who was followed by Relena and Hilde. 

"I hope you don't mind but we ran into Relena on our way here, and brought her along," Hilde explained as she brushed past the blond Arabian. 

Relena smiled sweetly as she walked over to peer over Heero's shoulder at his computer screen, but an ear shattering scream caused her to trip, loose her balance, and sprawl across Heero's lap in a very undignified, and flustering, position. 

"E-excuse me, Heero!" Relena gasps as Heero stoped typing long enough to help her to her feet. 

"It's ok," he grunts out as he returned to his typing. Another shriek fills the air, and is suddenly cut off by a crack and a thudding sound, followed by Sally's cry of alarm. 

Relena quickly moves over to the living room area, and comes to a screeching halt as she beholds Hilde, Duo, and Wufei, who was sporting a mop of cork screw curls, being tended to by a rather flustered Sally. She then turned her eyes towards Trowa, who was casually tapping his hand with a baseball bat. 

"Couldn't hear Escaflowne," he said, before turning his attention back to the T.V., keeping the baseball bat on his lap for good measure. 

"Sally, can I help?" Relena asked, and Sally gratefully nodded her thanks. 

"How did this happen?" Sally asked as she took Wufei's pulse, trying to keep her attention away from the head full of black ringlets. 

"Duo walked into the bathroom asking if Wufei had seen his socks, made fun of his hair, and I hit them with the bat," Trowa said in a rush, trying to get in as many words as possible before the commercial ended, earning him a stunned look because that was the most they had ever heard him say ever since they had first met him. 

"What he means to say is that Duo went into the bathroom after Wufei had used the shower, made fun of his hair, Wufei threatened him with death, and Trowa knocked them out because he coldn't hear the T.V.," Quatre supplied. 

Just then, Duo groaned and sat up, looking around him with a dazed expression on his face. 

"Oh, hi guys," he said when he saw Relena and Sally, then turned and saw Hilde on the ground. 

"What happened to Hilde?" he asked, being careful to not jerk his head. Felt like a massive hang over. 

"Trowa hit her on the head with a baseball bat," Quatre said. 

"Oh, is that so?" Duo asked threateningly, then grabbed his head in his hands. "I'll get you for it once my head stops hurting." 

Trowa made no comment, only turned the T.V. up a little louder because Escaflowne had ended, and his favorite show was starting to come on. 

"Fly hiiiigh, Suzakuuuuu," came echoing in from the T.V. speakers, earning him yet another round of funny looks. He shrugged in response. 

Duo turned his attention away from the T.V. and back to Wufei. He suddenly got a wicked look on his face. He then whipped out a role of duct tape, and despite the protests from Sally and Relena, proceeded to duct tape Wufei into a rather slivery looking cocoon. 

"New weapon," Duo grinned. 

************** 

A few weeks later the Gundam pilots won their first battle using this "new weapon." None of the enemy mobile suits had the heart to attack a group of pilots who's mascott was an angry looking young man sporting a head full of cork screw curls. 

**END**

  



End file.
